2016 year in review

So, this is the last day of the year 2016. What’s going on in your mind? How are you feeling right now? Are you sad? Are you happy or just..

Comfortably numb?! 😛

I believe we can change our lives at any point of time, just need to make few tough decisions and there you go boy! Beginning of a new life. Notable changes will be observed. It’s just a matter of how many of us are brave enough to let go of things, some people, some habits and determined enough to put in some efforts to start creating the life we always wanted to live!

However, this time is the most suitable for making changes. Why? Well, we all have this image in our mind “New year, clean slate, erasing all the bad memories, learning from mistakes and a New beginning”. It doesn’t matter whether you take this seriously or just laugh about it. It’s the fact that many of us take this as a golden opportunity to start afresh which isn’t bad at all.

So how was your 2016? Did anything go wrong? Any good memories? Something you would want to take away with you, or something to leave behind?

If you ask me this question, I would say 2016 was kind of a mixed one. Full of ups and downs, maybe that’s how our lives are supposed to be. Still, there are things I am going to work on, in order to become a much better version of myself, in order to make 2017 a great year. And I guess there are some very common areas and you might want to work on them as well!

1- Negativity

This is something which sticks to the ones like a shadow. The ones who belong to the “Overthinking” community(including me). If you have a habit of overthinking, there are very high chances you too fall in the trap of negativity. Why? All we do in overthinking is think of all the possible worst case scenarios that could happen and then find solutions to prevent them from happening. Finding answers to questions starting with “What if?” and stuff. So, I am going to work on this and I want you to work on this as well. Stay in the present and let go of the need to control the end result/outcome of every situation. Give your best, that’s it. Also, start finding the silver lining in every situation you come across. There is always something to be grateful for. It’s going to be tough but in the end, it’ll be worth it. Try doing this for 21 days and you might end up developing a good habit. The way you look at things matter a lot.

2- Lazing around

There were times when I did not feel like getting up from the bed, didn’t feel like doing anything. I don’t know why. Was I sad? Was I hurt? Was I worried? I just don’t know. On basis of that, I figured out what if this is some kind of attachment to my comfort zone?! Those days when you don’t feel like doing anything but just stay in bed all day?! The only solution to all this is, get up and do some work. Physical work. No matter how bad and low you are feeling, the only way to become happy again is to get up and do some physical work. Workout, maybe. The more you will stay there, the worse you will feel about everything. Plug in your earphones and get moving.

3- Anger Management

Something I shouldn’t be talking about. 😛 People who know me well must be laughing right now. 😛 But anyway, the truth is anger doesn’t really help. Unless you intentionally want to increase your body temperature, want to turn evil red, then no one is stopping you. Just in case, you too want to work with me on this issue, follow this. Divert your mind. How hard and weird it may sound, you need to do that. Music is the best therapy and so is laughter. Watch/listen/read something which distracts you from the current situation so that you don’t react straightaway in the heat of the moment and then regret later. In case you want to use that anger, transform all that anger and negative emotion into something productive. Say you have been avoiding some dull work or assignment or anything for a long time, sit on your study/work table, plug in your earphones and finish the job! As you already know, workout is also a good way to handle anger.

Note: When you can’t get rid of something permanently, better learn different ways of handling it. 😉 Respond but do not React!

4- Me time

This is something I learned in 2016. You don’t always need someone to enjoy life. In fact, the day you will learn how to enjoy being alone is the day you will know that Happiness always starts with you. For e.g, when I am alone or I don’t feel like going out of my room, all I do is get my food stuff, sit in front of my laptop and watch Supernatural 😛 And I enjoy doing that unless I have got loads of work, then I am unable to watch it with 100% concentration 😛 Hence, learn to be happy alone!

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Cass steals the show. 😀

 

5-Hustle

We all want to be successful, become rich, buy our favorite cars and the list goes on. But how many of us are actually willing to take required efforts? Not many, I guess. We all want to reach that destination but we just don’t want to follow that road full of obstacles, difficulties and blocks. Let this sink in. You need to work hard, you need to stay late, you need to burn the midnight oil if you really want to achieve your goals. Without hard work, efforts everything is meaningless. And if you really want to prove yourself, prove someone wrong, then nothing is better than achieving success in your life. Prove that person wrong who walked all over you. Stop wishing. Start doing. No one will do anything for you. Your life, you only have to do everything. Hustle hard.

6-Priorities

Make yourself your top priority. Your happiness, your well being. Nothing else. I hate to say this but people will do whatever they feel like doing, for their reasons, for their happiness even if it means leaving you behind. Absorb this. Accept this. Stop being a doormat, an emotional punch bag. If you think you are neglecting your feelings just for another person’s sake, stop doing that right now. It happens just to save a particular relation/friendship we stay quiet or ignore those times when the other person simply neglected us or made us feel neglected. Enough of this. Make yourself your top priority. No one is worth it. Not at this time when you should be busy creating your life, your future. Or remember this rule- Never make someone your top priority unless you are on top of their priority list. No one is more important than your sleep. 😛

7- Self Improvement

My favorite. The more you work on yourself, the deeper you will get to know yourself and the better your relations will be. From physical fitness to your general knowledge, work on everything on daily basis. Learn new ways to improve yourself. Choose a suitable 21 days challenge and complete it. Remember this, the less dependent you are on others, the happier your life will be! There is so much to learn, so much to read, so much to absorb, to express. Focus on improving yourself and not on criticizing others. Just work on yourself!

8- Rest but do not Quit

It happens so many times when I wake up and I feel so discouraged and disheartened. Like I just don’t want to do anything, just finish or say terminate all the ongoing processes. And then when I am done with this mood swing, I am sitting idle with a bunch of regrets. Solution? Never ever take permanent decisions on temporary emotions. If you feel exhausted, then take a break. Rest. Take a power nap. But do not quit. Never ever.

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There are some major 8 things I am going to work on. And I really want you to work as well. I know there are so many things to work on.  We will. Slowly. But for now, all I can say is. Enjoy this journey. This very new beginning. Give your best. You don’t need to worry about the end results. Just be happy at each and every step and rest everything will fall into place. This is your life. No one is responsible for it except you. Stay strong. Get up. Work hard. Party hard. Whatever you do, give your best.

The only way to stay motivated in this tough life is to keep motivating others. The more you will help each other, encourage each other, the more motivated you will be at the end of the day!

Do I really need to say this? Sharing is caring folks, you know what I mean! 😉

Happy New Year!

Image credits: Google.

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What is holding you back?

Are you living your life to the fullest? Are you living the life of your dreams? The one you always wanted to. I guess, most of the people would say NO! Including the author of this post- at least I am trying to.

You see, there are few questions you should really ask yourself on daily basis. Why? Because these questions help you in staying on the right track. They make sure you are LIVING life and not merely existing. There is a fine difference between LIVING and EXISTING. Similarly, between “I am Perfect” and “I am Okay. You know this too. Deep inside, maybe.

You might say- I want to but I can’t. And then you will give me so many reasons or say excuses. Won’t you?! And those are things which are holding you back!

Have you ever walked on a road by dragging your feet? Playfully, maybe! 😛 If you have, then you should know this simple fact-It takes much more strength to walk like that than to walk normally!

Right?!

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And even when you know this simple fact, you choose to live life that way. With things pulling you down, draining your energy at every step and making you tired and exhausted. Is that how you are supposed to live life? Especially if you are in your 20s, ASK YOURSELF!

Factors like these stop you from using your potential to the maximum and basically, they stop you from achieving things you once wanted to.

Now let’s think and find out what these factors really are?!

  1. Fear of failure
  2. Fear of Rejection
  3. Fear of being mocked
  4. Fear of public speaking
  5. Unworthy attachments to people/things
  6. Responsibilities towards family, society and friends
  7. Sacrifice of comfort zone
  8. Low self esteem/confidence/self worth
  9. Fear of Unknown

These are some reasons I think play a big role in holding you or say Us back. Of course there maybe few more, depending on the situation, varying from person to person. One thing to note is, most of them are interconnected like failing due to fear of public speaking.

Now I am not going to talk about all those factors, now. Of course I will, but in upcoming posts.

Right now, your job was to identify those “holding back factors” and you succeeded in it.

Just forget everything now. Take a pen and piece of paper. Write down your goals, desires/dreams-Whatever it is.

Maybe you want to start your blog or publish your first eBook. Maybe you want to travel alone or with friends to some other part of the world. Maybe you want to become the best in your profession. Maybe you want to visit the 7 wonders of the world before turning 35. Maybe you want to earn XX.XX amount of money by the age of 30. Whatever it is, think of all the things you really want to do/achieve in life and pen it down.

You see- Our conception of “My Happy Life” is- restricted to getting grades in school<college<stable job<family.

And this is how we live life or say are supposed to live life.

Now before you judge me, I want to add something- Okay. I get it. These things are essential in life but what about you?

No matter what anyone says-in the end, it’s your life. We all have some dreams, some goals, some things we all want to achieve not for anyone else, not for survival but because we want to. Things which might not fall or get aligned with that “above mentioned order” but pursuing them and achieving them is what we really want to. Because we want to experience that feeling of overflowing happiness and joy and confidence- of having achieved something!

So yeah, break the barriers.

The life you would want to live when no one would question you or criticize you for anything!

That’s the life I am talking about.

I am not asking you to become selfish. Or self-centered. All I am asking you is to live a life with balance.

Stop waiting for “perfect moments” or “perfect opportunities”

Go and find them. If you can’t, Create them. 😉

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You are more than what you think. Stop being at mercy of others’ actions and behavior.

The moment you will get rid of those pulling down factors, that’s the day you will start living your life freely. Even I have to get rid of them and I am working on it.

The “one of the greatest mistakes” we all commit is- We tie our lives to people. Of course we are human beings and craving for attention and care is normal for us. But you should set your limits.

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What to do now?

  • Think of all the areas/spheres where you want to move ahead/progress or achieve something.

  • Think of all the reasons why you are unable to grow in that particular area.

  • Let’s say you wanted to take part in a debate competition but you could not. Why? Fear of public speaking/ Stage fear/ Low self-esteem/self-confidence. I am not asking you to do some high level thinking. All I want you to do is pick daily life situations and then find the root cause of your inability to do a certain thing.

  • Once you have identified it. Start working on it. Day by day. Keep a record of your progress.

  • You can apply the same procedure everywhere-whatever the factor be.

So, go out now! Live your life! Laugh! Write! Do anything that makes you happy. Writing for you all, makes me so. 🙂

Sharing is Caring! 😉

Thank you!

Image Credits: Google images.

Alone or Lonely?!

If you are looking for another article on “How to overcome…” then better skip this one. Why? Because this article focuses more on the “Problem and causes” and not on the solution part- Sometimes, the solution lies in the question itself!

This article has a special “not-so-hidden” message/advise in it, which you will get to know as soon as you end up reading this post! 😛

The idea of writing this article came to me when I was alone or say was feeling lonely.

Wait?! What did I just say?

I was alone OR I was feeling lonely.

Alone or lonely– the two “similar” words yet with “different” meanings which we often use in our day-to-day language and that too interchangeably. So what exactly is the difference between these two?

The difference between the meanings of these 2 words can be best described in this way-

“Being alone is nothing but just a physical state. A single person in a room. That’s it whereas Lonely is a feeling. A phase one person can go through irrespective of the fact whether he is with someone or not”

The worst possible case is Feeling lonely in the crowd.

Now understand this thing. A person who is alone may not necessarily feel lonely or a person who has got company (not Alone) might end up feeling “lonely”. Confused? Me too! 😛

Now there are times when a person can choose to be alone, may be just to clear his head or when he wants to do some kind of introspection or say when he is done with people.

Choosing to be alone because a person is done with this world, is really scary and sad.

However, feeling lonely is entirely a different thing. As far as I know, none of us would like to feel lonely. Yet we end up feeling the same so many times. And if I am not wrong, most of the times we feel lonely is because we are missing something/someone with whom we have attached our happiness (which we should not have at any cost) and hence their absence causes us to feel that way.

Now it’s okay I get it. Sometimes, the person who has the power to make you happy is busy with some stuff and couldn’t join you in a little trip of yours and you have this lonely feeling even when you are surrounded by your friends. But what about when that person who you have associated your happiness with, walks right out of your life?!

Well, that’s really scary. And today I am going to talk about that only.

Life is not like a boat sailing in still water but it is more like a ship sailing through a storm.

And so there are times when things fall apart, when a loved one walks away, gives up on you and so on and on.

It’s just sometimes when the pain of things like this becomes so great, the person chooses to be alone or cuts off from rest of the world.

I am pretty sure you have seen such people in your life or maybe you are one of them. In case you are not that person, try to read and absorb whatever is written below. It might help you out in understanding such people.

  • When a person gets to realize how shitty this world is and how unpredictable and unreliable people really are, he starts to feel nothing is good about the world and hence he chooses to isolate himself.
  • Tired of dealing with people, he chooses to go into his shell where he is only concerned about himself, his work, his studies, his life and needless to mention, food. We all love food. Food is life, remember that!
  • In a world of social media, when everyone is few clicks away from each other, this person creates a wall between himself and the rest of the world.
  • He stops attending social gatherings, any form of networking/socializing, avoids any kind of get together with friends, avoids going on trips/music concerts anything which involves human interaction of any kind or “fun with people” kind of thing. He doesn’t feel like meeting anyone-unless of course it has got to do with his work/studies.
  • This person tries to limit the conversations as short as possible, with anyone for that matter. This person has got few friends who genuinely care for him and so ask him to stay in touch, irrespective of what he wants. Sometimes, he opens up with them, sometimes he does not. All depending on the way he is feeling inside.
  • This person chooses to spend his days sitting on his bed with laptop on his lap and food on his side table.
  • And needless to mention, he spends his free time in over-thinking and over-analyzing things.

 

Now comes the great problem-

Some people see this and say “Such a lazy person and start giving their speech on getting out of comfort zone”, without even knowing a damn about the way that person is feeling. I know this is not always the case, sometimes too much laziness forces a person to act in that way or being too shy or introvert might make a person behave like that. But the thing is

You should never judge a book by it’s cover

People have a habit of judging anything and everything. Why? Because as soon as they come across something which doesn’t really fit in their belief system, they see that thing as “unusual” and there goes the judgment. Instead of finding the reason behind this “Not so normal” thing, they prefer to give it a tag (JUDGE) and walk away. Wait?!

Are you one of them? You too from the judgmental crowd?

Yes, I am talking to you!

If your answer is Yes, then it’s a request the next time you come across a person like that-friends, relatives, class mates or anyone before you judge that person or prepare your SAY NO TO COMFORT ZONE” speech, ask him this

“How do you feel?”

Depending on the answer you receive, act accordingly.

Get this, every problem has a different solution and therefore stop applying that speech of yours in every “not-so-same” problem you come across.

Because you really don’t know why this person chooses to stay in his shell. Why does he not want to come out and socialize and have fun with people? Why has he got so much of trust issues?

Sometimes, terrible things which have already happened in the past leave the person completely broken and shattered and judging him in anyway is not going to make him or his life better.

So, either you

Help him out or simply walk away from his life. Life is too short to judge people.

Share this article with everyone you come across because you never know how helpful this article might be for someone who needs help.

Thank you

Image credits- Google

How to get out of Victim Mentality?!

“I am so screwed”.

“My life is a mess. I am simply existing. I no longer can live and enjoy my life. It all depends on others. Maybe that’s how my life is supposed to be. Dull and depressing”.

Sounds familiar?

Well, sure it does. The famous common lines you and I say to ourselves or to our close ones. Congrats! You have a Victim Mentality! And so do I or so I had in the past!

I don’t know the exact official definition of this “oh-so-technical” term but I can try explaining it to you!

The mentality in which everything seems going against you, when every event seems to upset you, when you are no longer in the driver seat of your life and the external circumstances or people’s behavior and actions start affecting you and your mood, is what we call as Victim Mentality. You start seeing yourself as a helpless victim of situations and people!

Key line- You are at the mercy of others’ actions.

And victim mentality is something which is hard to identify in someone because it seems normal. It doesn’t help at all yet it provides a temporary satisfaction/relief. Humans crave for affection and care. And so does the victim of victim mentality. He craves for sympathy or say “Aww poor me”.

And it’s okay. I don’t know if you are one of them or not. In case you are, don’t worry. That’s absolutely normal! Sometimes, unexpected life tragedies or accidents can make a person think like that.

Now let me enlighten you more on this! Some examples-

  • Too much dependency on someone. Or attachment to a certain person. You start to believe that they are the reason behind your happiness and without them you cannot be happy! Now since you have given your power to someone else and their action controls your happiness, you set yourself up for some major disappointments and hurt. A single action taken by them which makes you sad or hurts you, you are like this “Why? What did I do? Why can’t they act like I expect them to? Their actions affect me to the core”.
  • When something unexpected happens and it breaks you into pieces and you lose all hopes. Thinking like “I cannot be happy. Maybe this is what my life is all about”.
  • When you try to achieve something and you work hard but fail because of some uncontrollable situation or injustice. You start to feel like a victim of circumstances.

Basically, victim is a person who has gone through a lot and is still going when he is not responsible for his current situation but somebody else is. In all the cases, person thought or believed that it’s always the other person’s fault. Sometimes, you do are a victim of a situation but only for once, after that you choose to be a victim or choose to think like a victim!

Of course there are times when we were wronged by someone in the past, had experienced something very bad and so on. Yes, there are people who have done so much wrong to you and mistreated you or took you for granted but what now? Even you know this deep inside, no matter how much you blame them, hold them responsible and curse them,  past cannot be undone. Or it won’t change your present circumstances unless you decide to take some strict actions! You cannot live a happy life by constantly complaining about the difficult times or terrible people.

I hope now you do know what exactly victim mentality is. Needless to say, at some point of time, we all have played that role or are still playing!

So,

How does Victim Mentality affects you?

  • Makes you sad/depressed and dull.
  • Makes you crave for attention/sympathy/care from others’ which of course is temporary!
  • Keeps you discouraged and act as an obstacle in your growth!
  • No sight of hope or something better, no spark in life.
  • Makes you beg and plead to others’ who have mistakenly got the right to control your happiness.
  • Makes you kind of annoying because you start bugging your friends with the same story of how you turned into this dull and depressed person, and sooner or later they start avoiding you.
  • Worst part. It looks like once you are in, you can’t get out. Walking through a dark never ending tunnel!

Can you really get out?

Yes.

Will it be quick?

Nope.

Can this blog help me?

YES YES YES!

8 ways to help you overcome victim mentality

  1. Get aware. These 2 are the golden words. Why? Because you cannot deal with something negative unless you identify it in the first place i.e. To get aware! The first stage is to identify that you too are a victim of victim mentality and it’s time to get rid of this!
  2. You need to stop playing that role. No more acting like a loser. Start acting like a winner. Be the person who is not at the mercy of others’ actions.
  3. Detach. You should not get attached to anyone. Attachment is the root cause of all kinds of problems. From control to victim mentality, it’s the attachment which makes you helpless in situations. When you attach your happiness to someone else, you see your happiness directly proportional to their actions. Their “Hi” makes you happy and their “Bye” makes you sad. Take back that control. You cannot truly come out of victim mentality unless you detach yourself. You cannot control people. You cannot control their actions. So, no point in getting attached to anyone!
  4.  Say NO to Dependency. Any kind of dependency from emotional to work related is Dangerous. As long as you are dependent on someone else, that person can make you feel/do whatever he wants. Making you a victim of circumstances created by him.
  5. Take Responsibility. When you take responsibility of your life, of your actions, of your feelings then you automatically switch to Winner mode from loser mode. Why? Because now the ball is in your court. You are dependent on one person- You.
  6. Whenever you are stuck in a situation, rather than talking about it to everyone, find some solutions yourself. Consult your advisors. But try doing something which improves your condition, in case it is beyond your control-Simply detach. You cannot change something in which you have NO part to play!
  7. Lastly, I am not saying you are solely responsible for this messy life of yours! I am just saying even if it was someone else who contributed 70% in making you feel this way, rest 30% was your contribution! You chose to give that person a chance to screw up your life and hence you too are responsible for this! Accept your part. Take responsibility! Learn from this mistake and never repeat it again
  8. Read good positive stuff. Learn how to turn every setback as a stepping stone for your success. Read biography of all those great persons who refused to play the role of victim no matter what happened in their lives!

Quoting this paragraph from my favorite book- You can Win by Shiv Khera.

Let me share someone’s life history with you. This was a man who failed in business at the age of 21 ; was defeated in a legislative race at age 22; failed again in business at age 24; overcame the death of his sweetheart at age 26; had a nervous breakdown at age 27; lost a congressional race at age 34; lost a senatorial race at age 45; failed in an effort to become vice-president at age 47; lost a senatorial race at age 49; and was elected president of the United States at age 52”.

This man was Abraham Lincoln.

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He too could have played the role of victim but he did not. You always have a choice. Always!

In short, you are responsible for your feelings, for your acts, for your responses/reactions to people or situations. Remember that!

These are some ways to overcome victim mentality. I am still trying to apply them in life. But trust me, it feels way lot better when you realize you are the creator of your life and the one who can actually control the way you feel!

After all, we all are winners!

Hope this helps

Solutions/suggestions are always welcome!

Sharing is caring because there are many more out there, like us who do need some help to get out of this!

p.s- Image credits: Google

 

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10 ways to let go of Control

Control- a very powerful word which displays a sense of authority. A simple word which has caused all of us to suffer, in some way or the other.

How is “Control” responsible for all of this?

Agree or not, we all have a tendency to control things. The tendency might differ from person to person, but we all have it. We try to control situations, outcomes and sometimes people. Just to ensure, everything goes our way or works exactly the way we want.

From school to college to office, there are so many examples when we all try to control everything-for good or bad!

In short, we try to control our life.

We talk about freedom, about being free and so much of good stuff but then by trying to control someone/something-we only restrict their freedom of choice!

Godfather said it right?

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Coming back to the point. Let’s see how this control works?!

We all have some future plans, some plans on how our lives are supposed to be, our dreams and stuff. In short, a well laid out plan for the rest of our life. Some people call it “Ideal Life/Perfect Life or even Dream World”. Whatever you call it, it makes you feel good though for a temporary time only!

And there is nothing wrong with it. You are not supposed to live life-serious way. But the problem arises when you try too hard to turn that fantasy world of yours into reality!

How?

I agree we all want to achieve everything we have ever thought of, visit all those places we have searched on internet and so much more. But, here comes the GREATEST WISDOM-

“There are things you can control and there are things you cannot”.

 

And to be honest, you can only control yourself, your behavior towards others, the way you respond or react to situations. That’s it.

It might be hard to grasp this but this is what the truth is.

You cannot control others, their actions, and their behavior towards you, situations around you and their outcomes.

Shit happens, things fall apart, people walk away- every worst thing you can think of “Actually” occurs in this life but does that mean you are helpless? Does that mean you cannot live the life you want? Does that mean you can only be happy as long as people are with you and the moment they decide to leave, you are dead?!

Well, no matter how weird and indigestible it seems- the answer is NO!

I KNOW I AM STILL DIGESTING THIS! 😛

If anyone is to blame for all this we go through, it’s us. It was us only who gave these people the right to mess up our lives. It was our dependency on others that has turned our life upside down. It was our beliefs and thinking that we can’t exist without some people, without their favors, without certain opportunities.

People and situations cannot affect you unless you let them do so!

“Trusting in Uncertainty” or “Going with the flow” is what we all are supposed to do.

In fact, it’s the tendency to control things in our life that leads to the serious problem of Overthinking. When you really can’t do something about a certain situation or someone in your life, you start overthinking about them.

Because thinking about something for hours makes you feel secured and certain about them. It seems that you are controlling the situation which in reality you are not. The feeling that the more we think about someone or something, the more we analyze the situation and predict worst case scenarios, the more we control it.

It’s completely wrong. It doesn’t matter how much you think about it- you can never ever control a situation or any other person.

So, I guess now you do have a fair idea of this control thing and how it affects us in our daily lives. Time for the Jackpot Question?!

How to stop Controlling others and circumstances?

  1. You need to let go of control. And that applies to all the areas in your life. From relations in your life to your career plans.
  2. I am not asking you to live a life without purpose and plans, just wandering through and accepting whatever comes in your way. I am asking you to make loose plans and try your best to achieve them but in case you fail to do so, rather than obsessing over it-let go of it and try something new!
  3. Stop controlling people for your benefits or plans. You don’t have to beg someone to stay in your life, the right ones will always stay without you making an effort. It’s the most difficult thing but surely the greatest thing.
  4. There are times when unexpected things happen in your life. Like you had planned of visiting some remaining tourist places in your city but out of the blue you get your transfer letter and you will have to shift in one week. Instead of thinking about it and getting sad, embrace the change and take the max benefit from it. Because change is going to happen-whether you like it or not!
  5. Have faith in God/Universe/Higher Power. When you don’t have faith in any of the above things, you feel you are alone and you have to do all this alone. Setting things right, begging people to stay and so much more! That’s not the right way to live a happy life. When you have faith, then you know everything is working out for your betterment only and everything happens for a reason!
  6. Life is not like a straight road but more like a river flowing through the valleys and hills. Sometimes slow, sometimes fast, sometimes you hit the rocks. You should go with the flow, embrace the change and take maximum benefit from the uncertainties in life.
  7. Do not get attached to anything or any person. When you stay detached, you don’t feel the need to control someone or something, because you don’t need it/them. You are doing okay without them and you will continue to do so in future as well!
  8. Give your best. Stop trying to control the outcome of every situation. Learn from mistakes and move on.
  9. The moment you stop expecting something out of everything, out of people only then you will truly realize how soothing it is to let go of control.
  10. Whatever you do, make sure it involves you only. Since the only person you have control over is- Yourself. People are unpredictable and no matter what you do for them or how much time you invest on them, they can walk away any moment so why to depend on them? Unless you want some major disappointments.

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Credits- http://www.madetoglow.com(google images)

Even I am working on myself. Trying to implement these solutions. This is not at all easy. It requires time. And you should be willing to give time as much as possible, after all we all want to live a happy life- free from anxiety, worry and stress!

Feel free to comment below. And of course, Sharing is caring!

Thank you!

I should be Sleeping

Yes. You saw it right. I should be sleeping. That’s what I say to myself-not once in a week, not thrice in a week-I say this every day. And I know, even you say this too.

But why do we say like that? Is it because of too much consumption of caffeine? Is it the excitement and fun of a hostel life for a college student or the constant chatter of family members in the adjacent room-if you live in a joint family? There could be many reasons for you or me, not sleeping at the time when we should be.

Did you notice anything? There is one similarity in all the above mentioned reasons- they all are external factors or say something which is related to the outside environment. Maybe, it’s more about the Internal factors involved.

So what really it is that keeps you and me awake even after we have spent good enough time lying on bed?

Our Thinking.

Now don’t get me wrong. Thinking is a good habit and essential for one’s growth and decision making ability but things get rough when we add “Over” before it- Overthinking

It’s one of the greatest issues which is not visible in the physical world and yet has a terrible impact on you. Your mind has a great ability to overthink. To over analyze things. It doesn’t really matter how physically exhausted you are-it’s always working-either for you or against you!

It can take you right from this moment to a memory-good or not-some 5 years back or even 10 years-within seconds. You won’t even have to think harder or recall something which reminds you of that incident. And once you are back in that time, time passes by. And when you are finally going to sleep, it’s already AM in the clock.

We humans have a soft corner for this thing called Control. We literally want to control everything-want every situation/circumstance to be in our favor-but nothing comes easy in this world. So, to gain that Power to control our situation/people-we start to think deeply-covering every inch of the ground- viewing the same situation from thousands perspectives. How foolish of us! We really think predicting the future situations, altering the decisions will turn our fantasy world into reality!

I am not a Superhuman and neither are you. And that’s why I am writing this post and you are reading it.

Because we both want to break this habit of Overthinking. It’s not worth it-Not our sleep.

From academics related projects, to the common issues people have with each other, financial stuff, job worries, health related problems-you name it. Figuring out everything-that’s what we all do! Even while typing this line- I can feel the heaviness in my head.

Love for control is entirely a different topic which cannot be ignored and so I will be sharing my views on it, separately.

Every night I think of all that above mentioned stuff-just like you and get tired, frustrated and drained. With heavy eyelids and a negative mindset, I fall asleep.

That’s how my nights usually are and so are yours.

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And frankly speaking, I haven’t found a solution to it-Not the ones you are expecting me which will give you 200% results.

But surely, I am going to suggest some ways which might prove to be of some benefits to you-

  • Try hitting the bed asap. Now I used the word “Try” because I myself don’t follow this advice. Still, be a good boy/girl and at least TRY! 😛

We all are so good in giving advises to each other but so terribly bad when it comes to implementing them ourself!

  • Now get this thing clearly. There is no neutral ground here. Either you win or you learn. Either you are positive or negative. Either you feel or you don’t. So is the case with our brain. If you will keep yourself surrounded with good/positive people and books- your brain will work that way and not the other way around.
  • So try reading some good/favorite quotes or an inspiring Self-Help book, before you set your alarm for the next day! This will make you feel good and when you will be feel good, your mind will not wander here and there looking for a bad memory-unless you intentionally want to become sad and cry.
  • Listen to music. Once again, that’s your choice but try not to listen to those ones which remind you of something-not worth cherishing!
  • Do something which makes you feel good-gives you peace. For me, blogging is the way! In fact, writing itself is a great way to release the stuff that is in your head.

Well, surely these are not the ways-one would say “It took 100 of years of scientific research, experiments and analysis…” 😛

But yes how silly they may sound-They are simple and realistic.

Overthinking is nothing but a way to get mentally tired and exhausted without actually doing something. Next time, whenever you feel like you are about to go into Overthinking mode, try these solutions and see how this works for you. If you have any other way to deal with overthinking, feel free to comment below.

Thank you!

 

 

What kind of Person are you?

I was just watching this Hindi movie “Company”(for some 4th time)- starring Ajay Devgan and Vivek Oberoi. It is based on the story of Mumbai Underworld. A crime thriller and one of my favorite as well.

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Anyway, this is not a movie review and neither you are interested in listening about 14 year old “AMAZING-THRILLER-SUPERB” movie :P.

You are here because of any of the following reasons-

1- You want to know what this 20 year old guy has to share..

OR

2- You are someone I already know and I have shamelessly requested to check out my new post.

Promoting your brand new blog isn’t a crime, right?! No time for “Maybe or maybe not”.

Anyway, the reason I mentioned this movie is because of one of the very famous dialogue by Ajay Devgan makes quite sense to me NOW!

“Har insaan ke andar ek rakshash hota hai … bas kuch log usse bahar nikaalne se darte nahi”

Translation: There is a devil inside everyone … it’s just that some people are not scared to embrace it.

Now I am trying my best not to get too carried away but just try to understand what I am going to say now.

We all have a good and bad person inside us. Call it god-evil, if you want to. Whatever it is- I believe it’s true. I mean you can’t be good all the time, or with everyone around you. Of course there are some very good and decent people around us who deserve to be treated with respect and love. But sometimes it’s like you only see that side of others-they want you to see. Posing themselves as your well wishers while deep inside they might be hitting you right on your face with something handy for the 20th time. And then there are some people who try their best to act good, think good, do good but they fail when it comes to “think good”. I am talking about those people who have a habit of falling prey to Negative thinking, Victim Mentality, Blaming luck and fate and others. I used to be one of them or maybe deep down I still am but the frequency of falling to this kind of thinking has reduced remarkably.

However, it might be possible that there are times when you hate yourself for thinking too negative or something despising. But you shouldn’t hate yourself for that. That’s not your fault. You can’t control 60k thoughts(approx 50k-70k thoughts you have per day-that’s what the internet says at least) that cross your mind but you do have the power to keep the good ones and let go of the bad ones.

All you have to do is-

1- Get aware

2-Calm your mind

3- Divert your mind and read some great self help books or listen to some good music-anything which changes the way you feel

Such a simple way to a simple life! So easy,right? 😛

I know I know Easier said than done.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter what kind of person you are. Good or bad. Positive or Negative. Optimist or Pessimist. You should be really happy. You are not alone-there are so many people like you out there-even the author of this post! And that was the main point behind me starting this blog. Sharing stuff, the way we all often feel and trying to change each others’ life by becoming the change we all want to see in others.

Trying not to go in deep, all I can say is if you are someone who often thinks negatively or complains a lot or bangs their fist when something doesn’t goes as planned-You are at the right place. This is where you are supposed to be right now. Sitting right in front of your laptop/mobile/tablet and reading this line in BOLD ITALIC. This is “THE MOMENT” you have to be in-Not dwelling on the past or worrying about future. Hope you are appreciating the importance of this moment. In case you are not, umm..Poor you. Lol!

If you’re currently struggling in life and don’t know how to express your feelings then this is the place you need to be, for we will work together and we will work it out. And if you’re living the perfect life you imagined then well you can still visit this blog and help others because anyway it’s a good habit to make someone happy. And by the way each and every view/comment/share-makes me happy 😛

Enough of sugary stuff.

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Let’s get to the conclusion: Accept yourself. The way you are. Because you can’t overcome something you refuse to confront.Remember that!

However, there are things you really can’t change even if you choose to confront like Confronting the teacher after you have given wrong answer with full confidence and enthusiasm-won’t make you less dumb in front of her 😛

More articles on the way. If you want me to share my views(general) or write on any topic of your choice, you can comment below.

p.s- I hope you do appreciate the way I started talking about the movie “Company” and ended up talking about your thoughts. That’s cool, right?!

Just in case you didn’t know-

Sharing is Caring!

Hope you enjoyed reading this article.