Alone or Lonely?!

If you are looking for another article on “How to overcome…” then better skip this one. Why? Because this article focuses more on the “Problem and causes” and not on the solution part- Sometimes, the solution lies in the question itself!

This article has a special “not-so-hidden” message/advise in it, which you will get to know as soon as you end up reading this post! 😛

The idea of writing this article came to me when I was alone or say was feeling lonely.

Wait?! What did I just say?

I was alone OR I was feeling lonely.

Alone or lonely– the two “similar” words yet with “different” meanings which we often use in our day-to-day language and that too interchangeably. So what exactly is the difference between these two?

The difference between the meanings of these 2 words can be best described in this way-

“Being alone is nothing but just a physical state. A single person in a room. That’s it whereas Lonely is a feeling. A phase one person can go through irrespective of the fact whether he is with someone or not”

The worst possible case is Feeling lonely in the crowd.

Now understand this thing. A person who is alone may not necessarily feel lonely or a person who has got company (not Alone) might end up feeling “lonely”. Confused? Me too! 😛

Now there are times when a person can choose to be alone, may be just to clear his head or when he wants to do some kind of introspection or say when he is done with people.

Choosing to be alone because a person is done with this world, is really scary and sad.

However, feeling lonely is entirely a different thing. As far as I know, none of us would like to feel lonely. Yet we end up feeling the same so many times. And if I am not wrong, most of the times we feel lonely is because we are missing something/someone with whom we have attached our happiness (which we should not have at any cost) and hence their absence causes us to feel that way.

Now it’s okay I get it. Sometimes, the person who has the power to make you happy is busy with some stuff and couldn’t join you in a little trip of yours and you have this lonely feeling even when you are surrounded by your friends. But what about when that person who you have associated your happiness with, walks right out of your life?!

Well, that’s really scary. And today I am going to talk about that only.

Life is not like a boat sailing in still water but it is more like a ship sailing through a storm.

And so there are times when things fall apart, when a loved one walks away, gives up on you and so on and on.

It’s just sometimes when the pain of things like this becomes so great, the person chooses to be alone or cuts off from rest of the world.

I am pretty sure you have seen such people in your life or maybe you are one of them. In case you are not that person, try to read and absorb whatever is written below. It might help you out in understanding such people.

  • When a person gets to realize how shitty this world is and how unpredictable and unreliable people really are, he starts to feel nothing is good about the world and hence he chooses to isolate himself.
  • Tired of dealing with people, he chooses to go into his shell where he is only concerned about himself, his work, his studies, his life and needless to mention, food. We all love food. Food is life, remember that!
  • In a world of social media, when everyone is few clicks away from each other, this person creates a wall between himself and the rest of the world.
  • He stops attending social gatherings, any form of networking/socializing, avoids any kind of get together with friends, avoids going on trips/music concerts anything which involves human interaction of any kind or “fun with people” kind of thing. He doesn’t feel like meeting anyone-unless of course it has got to do with his work/studies.
  • This person tries to limit the conversations as short as possible, with anyone for that matter. This person has got few friends who genuinely care for him and so ask him to stay in touch, irrespective of what he wants. Sometimes, he opens up with them, sometimes he does not. All depending on the way he is feeling inside.
  • This person chooses to spend his days sitting on his bed with laptop on his lap and food on his side table.
  • And needless to mention, he spends his free time in over-thinking and over-analyzing things.

 

Now comes the great problem-

Some people see this and say “Such a lazy person and start giving their speech on getting out of comfort zone”, without even knowing a damn about the way that person is feeling. I know this is not always the case, sometimes too much laziness forces a person to act in that way or being too shy or introvert might make a person behave like that. But the thing is

You should never judge a book by it’s cover

People have a habit of judging anything and everything. Why? Because as soon as they come across something which doesn’t really fit in their belief system, they see that thing as “unusual” and there goes the judgment. Instead of finding the reason behind this “Not so normal” thing, they prefer to give it a tag (JUDGE) and walk away. Wait?!

Are you one of them? You too from the judgmental crowd?

Yes, I am talking to you!

If your answer is Yes, then it’s a request the next time you come across a person like that-friends, relatives, class mates or anyone before you judge that person or prepare your SAY NO TO COMFORT ZONE” speech, ask him this

“How do you feel?”

Depending on the answer you receive, act accordingly.

Get this, every problem has a different solution and therefore stop applying that speech of yours in every “not-so-same” problem you come across.

Because you really don’t know why this person chooses to stay in his shell. Why does he not want to come out and socialize and have fun with people? Why has he got so much of trust issues?

Sometimes, terrible things which have already happened in the past leave the person completely broken and shattered and judging him in anyway is not going to make him or his life better.

So, either you

Help him out or simply walk away from his life. Life is too short to judge people.

Share this article with everyone you come across because you never know how helpful this article might be for someone who needs help.

Thank you

Image credits- Google

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Unpredictable

Unpredictable

­Unpredictable is one of the very few words in English dictionary which actually makes me nervous, more than the word “Nervous” itself.

And you have every right to ask me “WHY?”!

Well, because I don’t know what’s going to happen next and being a human, I love to see the future, plan it according to myself, control the situations and sometimes people too-so that every thing goes according to the plan-My plan.

Sounds familiar, right?

That’s just you talking.

Anyway, I gave you my definition of the word Unpredictable. Want some examples?

Sure- here they are.

1- We

2- Our life

Trust me when I say this. One of the “Not-so-cool” qualities of humans is- They are UNPREDICTABLE. And that includes me as well.

And certainly is your life. You do have future plans or plans for tomorrow but you don’t even know what’s going to happen in the next moment? Do you?

However, I will only talk about “US”, in this article.

You see-One of the greatest qualities we all have is- the ability to think and decide for ourselves which further gives us one of the worst qualities- Unpredictability.

I can’t predict you. You can’t predict me.

And maybe this is the reason- People fight with each other, relations die, friendships end.

I am not being negative, realistic maybe.

It doesn’t matter how much time you have invested with a particular person, memories you have made or fun you have had together- Anyone can leave you anytime. All those promises, commitments will mean nothing that day.

It was going well and then you don’t know what happened and it was over. A good way to describe unpredictability of humans.

As far as I know- Unpredictability is something which makes you mysterious but at the same time, makes you way too dangerous.

Unpredictable, scary as shit.

This is not a “How to overcome” post so apologies if you were expecting it to be.

Still, few guidelines- though how negative it may sound-

  • Invest your time wisely with anyone
  • Choose your friends with utmost precautions

Because you never know how ugly unpredictability can get. 

Thank you!